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Submitted on
February 10, 2013
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And so he is gone

Journal Entry: Sun Feb 10, 2013, 9:10 PM

My very beloved doggy passed yesterday, after 17 years, 5 months and 25 days of living. He has been with me longer than anyone else in my life, except my parents and siblings. Not even my fiancée has been with me this long. I haven't stopped crying, I wrote in my last journal that he was making a great recovery but he started suffering complications just hours after I wrote it. I still can't believe what happened. It was very sudden. A friend told me it was easier to loose a pet if they were old because you were already kind of expecting it already. She lied.

My first pet, my longest friend, my eternal playmate, the one that taught me to love and respect animals, the reason I got into animal rescue. When I was 10 I got a soft case of mumps, so I was taken out of school for two weeks and I couldn't see neither my friends nor my siblings. He was my only company for those two weeks. When I was little and still feared monsters and ghosts at night, and later thieves or burglars, having him by my side always gave me reassurance, I knew he would wake me up and protect me, and so he helped me learn how to sleep through the night. When I was a silly teenager he always knew when my heart was broken and comfort me while I cried my heart out. He stayed with me through every cold, migraine or sickness I ever had. When I decided I wanted to be a vegetarian, but before my parents accepted it, I would sneak my meat from my plate to him little by little, my mom never found out what we did until I told her many years later. He was sneaky too.

My mind has been going wild thinking of all the things we went through together this many years. I guess in a way, I want to remember that he was very happy, very loved, and had a great life. As we got older I started dedicating more and more time to tending to his special needs, helping him with the stairs, making sure he eats all his food and enough water, taking him out, accommodating him in his bead, etc. I now feel a huge void at those times. Oka said he's taking me to the shelter to donate a few things we don't need anymore and the money I've been saving up from my Mondkatze commissions, that cheered me up a bit. I'm looking forward to it. Maybe now that we have a little bit of extra room we will be able to rescue a new cat.

Thank you so much to all the people that commented on my past journal, wished us the best and shared your stories. It means a lot to me, and I'm really sorry I can't give you better news. Please kiss and hug all your fur angels for me.

I'm trying to stay busy and optimist. Tomorrow begins our epic Artisan Crafts Week at projecteducate, we have a lot of great things planned so please look up for them! I'm also working on Mondkatze commissions, somehow making homages to other people's pets helps me deal with my own loss, and I got really behind on a few of them and I want to finish them asap. I'm also going to submit things again, I haven't submitted anything new in a couple of weeks.

I think that's everything that I needed to say, I feel a little bit better already. Thank you if you made it this far :heart:

Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, then it's not the end.
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ServantsRequiem Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
aww. I'm sorry. I know this happened almost a month ago, but I've been gone. Big hug thoughts for you my dearest.
petrova Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist
A bit late but :hug:
Picajosan Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:( I'm so sorry! I hope you are starting to feel better already, and after all he had a really long and happy life! Major hugs :hug:
kimchikawaii Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Professional General Artist
Aw, I'm so sorry! I just read this, being eternally behind on dA these days. I'm glad you have such a supportive fiance to help you through, that makes it a little easier.

Hope things are getting better for you.
17sp02 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Student General Artist
Don't be sad that it's over, smile because it happened. :) Stay Strong
floatingWhiteFalcon Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013
I'm feeling very sorry for you. I hope you'll get over this loss... But it sounds as if he had a very happy time with you, so don't be sad his time has come. And a dog which loves cats and hates other dogs has to be an awesome dog. You had got a gret friend but he can't have lived forever, so don't be upset. It's great that he was that healthy at his age. ^^
ImaginaryRoses Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how tough it must be. Keep all those happy memories in mind and keep smiling :) :hug:
artbylink Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sorry for your loss. my heart and prayers go out to you.
saren1986 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013
i know how you feel. we lost both our dogs within 6 months of each other. Our border collie went first (october 2011) at the age of 17. we had him for 10 years after his previous owners emigrated to america. Our mutt went in the following march aged 18. We had him from birth (he was born under my bed). You get over it eventually (it takes a while) but you never forget them. they burn themselves onto your heart xxxx
Reixma Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"A friend told me it was easier to loose a pet if they were old because you were already kind of expecting it already."
This is a lie! I have seen many an old pet die in our family, and it never gets easier, nor does it feel any different. It still hurts...
I know how you feel, as it happened to us with our dog Kez.

You had time with him which was lovely and those memories will never fade. That is no lie!
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